sinking into sleepiness
i ponder what will come tomorrow
will there be sadness
will there be joy
if i look across the horizion i see nothing but haze
i can drag my hand through a pool of possiblities
and be none the wiser
the ripples all look the same.

another long weekend gone

ahhh so the days have come and gone and now the work week faces us all. luckily i worked sunday so there's only one day left to my work week. huzzah
i wish i really didn't look forward to my next weekend so much. i really feel like that i miss out on a lot in life when i do that. i'm so busy looking forward that i lose the precious might have beens. oh well. have a great week!!

Firefly

You know what? I am so disappointed in our tv makers right now. Recently i have been introduced to two series , both of which are highly entertaining,only to find out that they are no longer running. The most recent of which is Firefly. My brother introduced me to this one. It has an awesome sci-fi western sort of atmosphere and an incredible cast. The scripting is well done and it is genuinly funny. It even finds time every now and then to sneak a moral lesson or two in. Fox network apparently did the show ill justice, airing it out of order so that it never really made sense when seen on air. Having watched the dvd of the series in the proper order though i must say it's pretty amazing. Lucky for me , this show's not entirely dead in the water. It's got a good sized fan base, myself included now :) There's a movie based on it coming out in september that looks promising. For those looking for more info a good website is www.fireflymovie.com
It's a fan based website but very well put together and has some great ideas about promotion. This is a great series , Check it out.
The other show that I have come to love but now mourn it's demise is Dead Like Me. It's a dark humor comedy. It has 5 main characters that work in the afterlife as grim reapers, making sure the dead end up where they belong. I can only watch a couple episodes at a time because , even with the laughs, it can be depressing at times. Still it is a shame it was canceled. Unlike Firefly, there is very little movement to get the series restarted. In fact i'm having trouble finding info on release dates for dvds of the remaining season and a half left that hasn't made it out yet. If anyone reads this that has some info post a weblink please.

summer storm

liquid tentacles of furious light
stream down from the molten sky
burning fingertips scorch the ground
leaving blackend furrows
and in their wake, a low rumble
insinuates itself slowly ,
felt only in ones bones at first, then..
a resilliant crack
and the air is flooded with roiling waves of thunder
Harbringer of fury
the malevolent wind hurls rain
with the force of missiles to trample
the life below.
the walls are washed with eerie light
emanated from each fractured strike
I huddle at the window
in silent awe.

a night without rain,.. at last

Silent sigh of late spring night
gently stirs the leaves to whispering
a few of which drop into flight
caught safely by the velveteen
expanse of lawn below.

Softer leaves are these,
than the husks of those in fall
they fold silently, without plea
beneath the feet of those in thrall
to the cascade of stars above.

Solitude sits quietly next to me
as i watch the dancing, silver lights
obligingly keeps me company
as the hours fade through the night
and dawn's subtle approach begins.

a long time ago.....

Amazing... I'm almost 23. I was looking at some old pictures the other day. They were pictures of a birthday party that took place years ago. Looks like it was at our old house in Kearns , Utah . I must have been turning 9 or 10, couldn't be any older than that because we moved out when i was eleven i think. Birthdays back then were great. two of my brothers and i were born within a week or so of each other. We'd have these massive neighborhood wide parties, each of us inviting our set of friends. My other brother , whose birthday was in april and so the farthest from all of ours , always got to have his party with us too. If we didn't do that he ended up feeling left out. Anyway, it was always incredible, usually we were just out of school for the summer, not more than a week out. All of us were excited, Mom would make a few cakes. We'd pull out the slip n slide and turn on the hose. In SLC it was usually plenty warm by the begining of june for the lawn water toys. You'd never known there was ever any drought the way we used the hose out front. Most years once we were older we got to have 24 hr parties, we'd have the main event in the afternoon. Once all the cake was eaten and presents unveiled, once we were all exhausted from playing in the sun, then the slumber party began.we would break out the rented vcr and play movies for a couple hours. we'd separate into our separate groups and spend the night seeing how much we could annoy eachother. :) it was great.
Birthdays aren't quite the same anymore. I still usually manage to have fun, but it's usually a small gathering of family and friends. Nice and quiet, sometimes see a movie or just hang out and have fun. The anticipation just isn't there though, no planning endlessly or making guest lists and home made invitations. Weird how people always talking about how views change , but never really believing it until it happens. When i realized it worked on my birthday it really seemed no big deal. I'm off at 6:30 after all and that's plenty of time to go to dinner and movie. A couple friends suggested going out to some of the clubs the friday before. it sounds fun but i'd really rather spend the time actually having a good conversation with people than in a loud room full of smoke.
I guess we'll just see how it goes. after all as "They Might be Giants" so eloquently states, "you're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older" is always and ever true, not just one day of the year but all of them.

through the window

I walked by a house the other day, one festooned with an outdoor garden that much resembled a miniature amazon forest. Upon looking closer at the house , i realized that the jungle-like front yard extended into the home itself. Being a balmy 70 degrees the inhabitant had opened all the blinds and windows. Through the glass, cascades of broad leafed and trailing vines could be seen. Pointed tips of verdant ferns edged the window sills. I can't even begin to imagine the amounts of miracle grow necessary to create such an indoor arbor. I was very impressed with the home owners botanical abilities. My plants are luck to get watered once a week. They rarely grow enough to need repotting. As passed i by i silently saluted the dedicated agricultural guru. Hats off to you!

next generation of car miracles

I have a few distinct memories from my child hood involving saturday miracles in my father's car. During one, on a trip back from Draper we hit a patch of black ice on the free way and did a 360 on the road ending up in a snow bank. My brother had to dash through 3 feet of snow to get help freeing us, but we were all ok. Miracle one.
Another time, some of my siblings decided it would be a good idea to drive up a canyon during a snow storm and for some reason my father agreed. Now, i've never been terribly adventurous i'll admit, but even to my little eleven year old mind this was a bad idea. So, as any frightened kid, I complained the entire way to the end of the canyon as we passed snowed in cars and accidents. We did end up getting to the turn around point with not even slip and all my siblings were quick to let me know how wrong i had been. However, on the way back out, just as we crossed a small bridge the rear end of the car slid out and we ended up facing the other way, had we been a little further back we might have gone over the bridge. Once we were freed from the snow pack and back on our way i received promises to be listened to from then on. Miracle two.
Today it seems the miracles shall continue for which i am very grateful. My husband and I were on our way home from visiting some friends in Arcata. We only had about 10 miles till we were home. I was approaching an on ramp and there were several cars entering the freeway.I pulled into the left lane so as to make the merging process easier. Suddenly a silver car started pulling into the left lane right as i was pulling even with it, probably didn't check blind spot. I honked and pulled to the left to avoid being hit but it's only a two lane freeway with a ditch dividing the two opposing directions. --- Driver's ed teachers always talk about turning into the spin and braking times and what not, physics teachers use car accidents to demonstrate principles of friction, velocity and momentum. None of it ever really describes just what it feels like to suddenly change direction moving 70 miles an hour. It's just not describable. -- As we swerved left and then began to actually swing around all i could think about was getting the car stopped before it actually fell off the road into the middle ditch and about how i hoped it didn't hurt too much if we did. Some how i managed to keep the car from falling in or ending up in another car, sheer luck i'm sure and blessing from someone. The car that caused everything went merrily on its way, but one nice guy pulled off to make sure we were ok before moving on. And we were, had to take a moment or two to make sure we were really alive still and then wait for a break in traffic so we could turn back around ( we were facing oncoming traffic at this point). Luckily we had left pretty early and traffic was only begining to pick up since it was a sunday morning, wo we were able to get back on our way, safe and sound. Miracle three.
i don't know if everyone has had experiences like this but i know every one that you can walk away from without injury is a blessing and it always makes you appreciate your day that much more. plus now i have another car miracle story for the family :)