The moment between

I was looking through my blog posts the other day and I noticed that they tend to be made during brief moments between the larger events of my day. I've never been much for structured schedules, which is funny because I like to plan my days at least a while in advance. Routine though, that's something I've never really been good at. I'm sure there are a number of reasons why, though I'm not sure I could enumerate them. I've been trying to be better about it since the kids were born. They definitely do better with routine. I guess routine is kind of like a commitment. I'm not entirely sure why but I've been hesitant to commit to things the last few years. I didn't really realize it till recently. Part of it has to do with moving so much. Part of it has to do with being timid when it comes to investing time in relationships with new people. I have stayed at a remove from anything really community oriented, haven't offered to volunteer or help with projects. When I went to church with the kids I never wore a name tag until recently. I think because it might invite people to get to know me. I've gotten into a habit of isolation and I think it's time for that to end. Now I'm in the moment between. I've got volunteering on the horizon, plans with friends. I think I will try to get involved at my daughter's school. But not yet.. that's all a few weeks away. I look at it with a bit of hesitation and nervousness. It will be good to stretch socially again. I'm just out of practice. Still I'm going to enjoy this moment of anonymity and just live this moment between.