responsibility

I'm a responsible person. I pay my bills on time. I hold a steady job. I make sure everything important gets taken care of. I skipped class in high school once my senior year. I don't call in sick unless i am sick. My family is always taken care of. I am considered reliable by my friends. Sometimes i think i could do better with my finances, but no one's perfect.
Sometimes i wonder... where exactly was i in high school or just beyond, when everyone is doing strange and crazy things?

words

teehee, i almost posted this without any words on it.Sometimes that enter key is just too close to the apostrophe. Anyway, Words, Ive decided that i should try to make use of more of those. Everybody seems to be doing something with them. Brother mine has been pretty good about putting a thousand of them a day down on electronicized paper.My dad's really good with them. HE's also much more faithful to his blog than i am to mine. Poor little blog. I really like some of this things he's written. My husband is quiet, he doesn't use that many words. He uses pictures a lot. My mom is building a plan for a business with words. Amazing how versatile the little guys are.
I tend to think in words. Pictures are very hard for me to do, brain just doesn't want to work that way. Is very frustrating sometimes. But sometimes when i'm thinking really hard i can almost hear the typing in my head. Some of them i like more than others. Flummoxed is a good word. So is Ambidexterous. i also like Ambiguous. Now that i think about it i like a lot of words that begin with A. Sometimes i like to build them into little poems. sometimes i just jot them down at random. every now and then i write a bunch on a piece of paper, tear it into one word bits then toss it into the air and see what it says once it lands. Most the time it doesn't say anything coherant. that's another word i like.
seems like a lot of the people in my family are more committed to their words than i am. I've got grandparents that write a lot, an older brother that is consistant with his journaling, both younger sibs enjoy writing as well. I like to make poems but that's about all. Stories are difficult for me, never can get to the end of em. Ah well.
Must be going. Think i've use up all my words for tonight.

oh so sleepy

Eveything seems to be dragging along today. None of us got up early, we haven't really done anything other than go to the library. Yet all three of us seem to be wandering about in some sleep deprived haze. Maybe it's just the clouds outside. Maybe it's a weekend thing, although it's only friday. Either way, two of us are down for the count, taking naps. I continue on with my struggle to maintain consciousness, went to the store to grab a few things for dinner, got some books at the library. Now i'm writing on my poor lonely blog that never gets enough attention. I'm really rather amazed that i ended up here considering i have a lack of drive to do anything today. That's how my blog seems to get most of it's postings though. Just random moments of my time when there doesn't seem a pressing need to be doing something else. It's really nice right now. House is quiet, and i can almost imagine it's just me here, kicked back in my computer chair, feet up on the windowsill, watching the clouds grow darker outside. There is an oppresive feeling of impending storm. This summer looks like it's going to be filled with weekly tempests., not like the blazing, dry summer last year. So far we've had a few amazing lightening storms, one of which lasted hours and literally shook the windows. I love to watch the lightening. I'm a little disappointed that my digital camera is so slow. All the images i've tried to capture have been mediocre at best, if they come out at all. I'm sure there's a way to speed the capture time but i don't know what it is. Will have to search the manual. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, think i'll go read a book, see if i can stay awake long enough to watch the storm begin....

.... mice and men......

so ive had this block of vacation scheduled for like months now so i can go to SLC and spend some time with the parts of my family that i never get to see. I've been really good about not dipping into the reserve. Due to the misfortune of unemployment among my live in family though it is looking more and more like i'm going to have to do some re-evaluating of my plans. Chances are i would have enough on my next check to afford to go, but that means little left over for things like groceries once the bills are paid. my tidy little plans of saving up a couple hundred in the months before went out the window with each rent check where i was covering two shares. I certainly don't mind pitching in to survive, but it does mean im gonna need to rethink things. Maybe the first of august i could go. Should have a bonus check by then.
Grrr though, Some of the family, like my dad, i haven't seen in a couple years now. I have a niece i've never met and she's over a year old. Sometimes it's really annoying living hours and hours away. I wish i could bring myself to live in SLC again, but even if i could talk myself into it, i doubt hubby would agree. I just miss some of my people soooo much. If only we had transporters... well i'll just have to change my plans and hope they are better laid than before.

old friends

it's weird. I've been hanging online a bit more lately, and suddenly i'm running into people i haven't talked to in at least a couple years. These are people i used to chat with for hours at a time night after night. I guess what makes it seem weird is that it's only like one or two people out of a massive group. I have the list of my contacts from 7 years ago, back when the majority of my life was spent online, and it's like 50 people long. Since i've been back online i've reconnected with like 4 of them. That's less than 10%. So where'd everyone go? well obviously they've developed things to do. After all i my self had disappeared for extended periods of time , popping above radar only now and again on my infrequent periods of internet access. Just strange i guess.

empty roads

i love driving late at night. All the roads are empty. for as far as you can see, all the lights run on in an endless corridor of green. even if you're only doing speed limit it feels like you can fly. If another traveler happens by, it's not an intrusion, it's a welcome interruption of solitude by a fellow traveler. i smile to know i'm not the only one enjoying a late night ride home.