si casa flores

there's this great restraunt near my house called Si Casa Flores, only the F,L, and O on the sign are burned out right now so it's just si casa res. The waiters here are awsome, the first time i went in there the waiter just stopped and said "wow, you have a beautiful smile" he got a huge tip. Sure, coulda just been playing me for the money but everytime i've gone, with friends or family, they staff has been way friendly.
I always end up in this weird quandry. i speak a little spanish, mostly just enough to sound stupid trying to speak spanish. The waiters will always toss a few little words in here and there and the one time i responded in spanish, the waiter just like rattled off a couple of sentences, only one of which i understood. Now i'm always afraid to say anything lest i look like a poser. At the same time though i keep telling myself that the only way i'm really gonna get anygood at it is to use it. soy un pollo.
tra la, it's sunday night. didn't get anymail today. Sunday is the only day it feels ok not to get mail. Every other day of the week, if there's not mail in the mail box i feel terribly disappointed. It's like no body loved me enough to make sure there was something waiting for me. Even those stupid credit card offers i hate are better than nothing at all. Not that i'm all that great at mailing the people i love. i don't know how many times i've written a lettler, addressed an envelope and even affixed the stamp to a letter,only to find it 2 months later still on the dresser underneath the socks i dropped there last time i did laundry. Then, of course, i can't send the letter off because i've most likely spoken with, or at least emailed or text msged the person the letter was to in the first place. By then the news is way old anyway so what would be the point? Other than it would make the person receiving it feel special. If you love somebody, mail em a letter. You'd be amazed how much it'll mean to that person.

whew, i did it. broke the ice and put something on my blog at last. writing is so scary, what if you get halfway through a thought and then decide it's awful? totally trite and possibly incoherent? then you have to start alllll over and hope the next one is better. mostly everything i write goes into a notebook i have that no one ever sees so it doesn't matter if anything only makes sense to me. after all, i'm the only one reading it. hopefully this will be an enlightening experience that gets more of my writing out in the world. we'll see. : ]

quiet saturday

quiet saturday..
sunlight streams through the windows
half the rooms are straightened but none of them are clean.
the whole house to myself
a temporary kingdom all my own
and the appliances obey all my commands
cleaning the dishes and the cloths
my favorite songs pour out the speakers on the desk
I sing along , off key and on
dancing in the pools of light warming the living room carpet
connected with the family, i've assurance that their world continues on
in happiness and tragedy
but right now i'm all alone
laughing and free